


Monkey D. Luffy Doesn't Come to Dinner

by YuYiKenopsia



Series: Luffy Misses Dinner [1]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Implied Sexual Content, Pining Roronoa Zoro, Pining Vinsmoke Sanji, The straw hat gangs usual shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-14
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2020-03-05 11:31:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18827812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YuYiKenopsia/pseuds/YuYiKenopsia
Summary: The unthinkable happens. Monkey D. Luffy doesn't show up for dinner.





	Monkey D. Luffy Doesn't Come to Dinner

**Author's Note:**

> This is not smutty, but adult themes are present. There will be a part 2 of this from the reader's point of view that will be smutty but for now, please enjoy this one! I plan on making the reader female in the second part but if someone would like me to do a male version as well I would be happy to!

In the history of the crew, and probably the existence of Monkey D. Luffy, this had never happened before.

Monkey D. Luffy didn't show up for dinner.

"Am I gonna be the one to point out the obvious or is someone else?" Nami spoke up from her spot at the dinner table.

"That bastard, I'm going to kill him. The food's getting cold!" Sanji growled. "My precious Nami-swan and Robin-chwan should've been eating minutes ago!"

"Perhaps he went overboard when no one was looking?" Robin hummed to herself while everyone turned to her in horror. "What? It's a likely possibility. Far more likely than Captain choosing to miss a meal."

"You can't kill that dumbass. He must be doing something else. Although, I have no idea what. He didn't even pester me for a snack in between lunch and dinner." Sanji scrunched up his eyebrows (at least the one that can be seen) the more he thought. "Come to think of it has anyone seen Luffy since lunch?"

The table was silent while they all came to the realization that something must be terribly wrong.

"Not to mention we're missing another spot at the table." Zoro mumbled from where he was resting his head in his hand, elbow on the table.

"I know! The bastard better not have done anything to my precious-" Sanji stopped just before spouting off your name with hearts in his eyes, distracted by Zoro's etiquette (or lack thereof), "Get your damn elbows off the table, moss head!"

"Oh, what? You mean these elbows?" Zoro grinned widely while he rubbed both of his elbows all over the table.

"I'm warning you shit head! I'll teach you some damn manners if your parents never did! I have a very effective hands-on approach." Sanji threatened, shooting up from his spot at the table.

"Oh, yeah? Bring it on then shitty cook." Zoro scowled, reaching for his swords at his side.

"Wow, Sanji. I always thought you were strictly into women." Usopp snickered from his place at the table. "But it seems you're willing to give Zoro your ' _hands-on approach_ ' as well."

Sanji's face flushed a deep red. "Y-you bastard! Like I would ever sink so low as to sleep with that plant head!" He ran around the table towards Usopp who screeched and ran around the table the opposite way. Zoro just sat back down slowly, face bright red but otherwise normal while Robin sent him a knowing look.

This continued on for a few more seconds before the resident red-head lost her temper. "Can you guys not focus for two seconds!" She screamed, slamming her hands down on the table. Sanji was immediately apologetic while Usopp just breathed a sigh of relief. "We need to go find those two. What if something really is wrong?" The table settled back down and everyone nodded in agreement. "Okay, then its settled. Usopp is gonna go look for them while we all sit here!"

"OW! That plan is suuuuuuper!" Franky agreed, throwing his robot arms together and bending slightly to the right.

"Yohohoho! I _would_ like to finish drinking my tea. Although I have no stomach. Yohohohohoho!" Brook laughed at his own joke.

"Why me!?" Usopp complained. "Oh, no! All of a sudden I can feel that I'm coming down with 'must-sit-down-disease'! If I get up to go look for them, I'll die!" Usopp faked swooning and fell forward onto the table.

"Usopp, you are going to get up to look for them because I said so." Nami hissed out, eyes narrowing.

A terrified shiver ran through Usopp's body and he was up and out of the door in record time.

"Do you think they're okay?" Chopper asked worriedly. "What if they're hurt or something!?" Chopper's cute little face scrunched up in worry.

"Don't worry Chopper. I'm sure they're both fine. You know Luffy can't be beaten and he would never let a friend get hurt." Nami reassured him.

"Yeah, you're right..." Chopper perked up a bit.

The door slowly creaked open and everyone's attention turned to it. If Luffy was there, shouldn't the door be busting open?

A shell-shocked Usopp walked in and shut the door behind him, slowly taking his place back at the table. Everyone stared for a few seconds, waiting on him to tell them what was going on, but when it became obvious he wasn't going to speak up on his own, Nami prodded him for answers. "Well?"

"I think... we should, um... just go ahead and eat d-dinner." Usopp stared down at his plate wide eyed.

"Usopp, what the hell is going on?" Nami questioned.

"Um... those two are... busy. Yeah, busy. They can heat their plates up later."

"Usopp! What's wrong!? Are they hurt!?" Chopper panicked, standing up on his chair.

"No. Definitely not hurt..." Usopp mumbled.

"Well, since we aren't going to get answers from him, someone else needs to go." Nami shrugged.

Zoro sighed and stood up. "I'll go. This is taking too long, I need to get back to training." Zoro pushed through the door and left.

While they waited, everyone tried to get an answer out of Usopp but he just kept shaking his head and staring down at his plate like it jumped up and started singing.

Zoro returned a minute later, with once again no other crew members.

"Okay, what the fuck!?" Nami yelled.

"Yeah, they're totally having sex in the guys room." He shrugged before sitting back down. Usopp screamed at the word sex and planted his hands over his ears, pulling his legs up to his chest.

Everyone else was dead silent.

"E-excuse me, but it sounded like you just said that they were having sex?" Nami blinked a few times.

"Yep." Zoro nodded and leaned back in his chair. "Don't believe me? Go even remotely close to the door. You'll be able to put two and two together."

"There's literally no way. I mean... Luffy? Having sex? I don't think he knows what that is. Maybe they're... really struggling to put some furniture together or something?" She, like everyone else, refused to believe that Zoro had heard right.

"Oh, sure. That's gotta be why Luffy was saying 'oh, fuck yeah. You like that?' All breathless and moaning. He was just asking her if she liked the recently finished bedside table they put together." Zoro rolled his eyes.

Sanji seemed to have finally snapped himself out of a trance. "You're wrong! There's no way! I'm going to check because I don't believe you! You're just messing with us." He claimed, although he seemed rather unsure of what he was saying. He walked out of the door and everyone except Zoro and Usopp followed.

They made their way to the boys sleeping area quietly. Once they stood outside the door, nothing could be heard. "See? I knew that bastard was lying." Sanji rolled his eyes and pressed his ear against the door. Sanji froze instantly, eyes widening and jaw dropping.

"What!? What is it?" Nami whisper yelled.

Sanji stayed frozen in shock so she pushed him away from the door to get a listen.

_"Oh, Luffy, yes! Please don't stop that feels so good!"_

Nami jerked back from the door, face bright red and mouth wide open. "Oh my God! They really are having sex!"

Everyone pushed to the door to get a listen and all pulled away shocked.

"Ow! Way to go Luffy!" Franky whispered.

"I can't believe Luffy got to see their panties." Brook said in disbelief.

"No. There is _no_ way. This has got to be some big misunderstanding. I refuse to believe it." Sanji crossed his arms and shook his head.

"I suppose there's only one way to find out." Robin spoke up, crossing her arms in front of her and closing her eyes.

"Oh, right! You can peek inside and check. Good thinking!" Nami whispered and patted her on the back. "So, what's the verdict!?"

Robin slowly uncrossed her arms and opened her eyes. "I'm sorry Cook-san, but it seems Luffy's already having dinner."

Sanji passed out and his body hitting the floor made a loud thumping noise.

_"What was that!?"_

_"Mmm..._ _I'm_ _sure it was nothing. Don't worry_ _about_ _it."_

_"But what if- ah! Oh, fuck!"_

The group sprinted away from the door, Robin staying behind a few moments to look down at Sanji, giggle, and mutter, "Now we just need to get you and Swordsman-san to recognize your feelings, huh?" After another second, she trailed behind the group making hands to carry the still unconscious Sanji back to the kitchen.


End file.
